I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
