I didn't shave. On purpose
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
