You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
