Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
