Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
