she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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