God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize