I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
