whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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