just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
