And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
