i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
