Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
