here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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