Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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