someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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