...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
