i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
