i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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