her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
