i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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