He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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