Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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