Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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