My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
