If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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