I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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