I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
