There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
