the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
