my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize