She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
