Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
