I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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