does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
