i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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