Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just gargled with NyQuil
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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