You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
