i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
