He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
