her vagina looked like bernie madoff
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
