That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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