I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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