hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
