marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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