she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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