So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
