I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
