oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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