..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
