ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
