haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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