Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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