from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
