Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
