I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
