Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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