Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
