The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize