Yo dont text me then not text me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
jump out the window naked night went bad
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
