and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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