Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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