I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
